Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Totally Lame Excuse Night

Here's the breakdown of crap I do:

1) I own VixenTor Games. We make game accessories (and when I say, 'we', I mean 'I'. I like to use the royal plural first person. It makes me feel more important. It also makes it sound like I'm not one dork making wood boxes in his living room and pretending it's an income).

2) I write this site. I don't need to use a 'we' here because it's pretty obvious that I don't have help. If I had help, I would be better at this, and you would be reading a review, not lame excuses.

3) I have a family, with two kids and wife who collects stray dogs like old ladies collect Precious Moments statues. We spend an absolutely ridiculous amount of time (and king-size wads of money) taking care of animals that were never ours and that I sure as hell never wanted. This is a large part of the reason I write this site - without it, I could never get games, because all the money goes to buying kibble and hookworm pills.

4) I have a day job as a graphic designer for the government. Yes, the government uses graphic designers. Cool, huh? Only this week, we were printing a gigantic catalog in Minnesota, where the temperate in this part of the year ranges from 'Holy Moon Pies, that's cold' to 'Sweet Merciful Jesus, I can't feel my nipples'. And for a book that big, someone has to go look at every page and make sure the color is right. And that someone is me.

To make an irritatingly long diatribe short, I just flew in from Minnesota tonight (and boy are my arms tired). I have four days worth of emails to answer and I've been living on three hours of sleep a night because the press check is 24/7 with short breaks while they set up new presses. I'm so tired I can't see straight, and I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to get to work tomorrow, because the government doesn't offer comp time even if you have been working non-stop for four days in a row.

So to sum up - lame excuse, no review tonight, try back Friday night and I'll write about - oh, hell, I don't know, something. I have a stack of games here the size of a water buffalo waiting for me to write about them, so there will be something here Friday.


Anonymous said...

That's the problem with strict release schedules :) My blog is just "I write something when I feel like it, and very rarely it might be a review" :)

Having signed up to your RSS feed, I'll read your next review (or other post) whenever you feel like writing it anyway :D

Pete Miller said...

You can always ship some games to me and I'll get a review up. Here's a sample.

Playing Agricola is like going into the vet to get your cat spayed, but the room was dark and the vet mistook you for the cat and your nuts got turned inside out. Only more painful. If only it took place in Kentucky instead of Europe. Then you could make moonshine and marry your neighbor's daughter (also your sister) and shoot the place up with a 12-Gauge.

But it's not. You pretend to grow crops. BFD, move on to a real game with killing and babes, or have a beer.

If this sounds like a game you would like to buy, go here:

Matt Drake said...

Dang, Pete, you'll make me look bad! Here I'm slouching around, dropping reviews, and you're entertaining with accidental vasectomy nightmares and Kentucky incest jokes.

Unknown said...

Better than Kentucky nightmares and accidental incest jokes.