Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Announcement - Feral Instinct

There's an old saying that has been on my mind recently:

'Those who can, do. Those who can't, write snarky comments and make crude jokes.'

I've been thinking a lot lately about games in general, and specifically reviews. See, I strut around my little rooster pen crowing about how this game is great and this game blows goats, but what have I done to show why you ought to pay attention, besides make some cracks about transgender prostitutes and illegal narcotics? Sure, I've been writing about games for a long time, but how does that make me any more an expert than anyone reading my casually offensive rants?

For that matter, why do we believe any game reviewer? Why does one guy's opinion have enough merit that we go back over and over to see what he thinks, especially when that one guy's total accomplishments include just playing a lot of games? Hell, if my readers don't play lots of games, they're either horribly confused or just waiting to see what poop reference I make next.

So that got me to thinking, and that got me to scheming, and that got me to doing something.

I'm going to make a game.

I know it's hard. I have several friends who make games, and a whole lot more who playtest games. I've seen the amount of work that goes into making something useful and enjoyable. I've seen what happens when you take short cuts, and I've seen the results of long hours of hard work. I know that making games is no picnic, and it's not for sissies who are afraid of failure. But I think it's a worthwhile endeavor, and I intend to see it through and make something I can play.

Here's the thing, though - I'm arrogant enough to think that people should read my typewritten vomitus, but I'm not arrogant enough to think that I can make a good game all by myself when the closest I've ever come to game design is making boxes so you can roll your dice. So I'm going to enlist some aid, and that's where you come in (unless you just stopped by to see if this was a music blog. You might not be much help in that case).

I'm going to openly ask for comments. I'm going to ask for people to email me and ask me if they can help me make a game. In short, I'm going to try something really tough so that I can earn a little street cred, and then I'm totally going to pawn off as much as possible on other people. Specifically, you.

Now, I've already got a game started. If games were babies, this one would be somewhere between Mom and Dad having to tell the kids that they were testing the mattress and finding out if we're having a boy or a girl. It's a card-based combat game where kung-fu style animals duke it out with magic, swords, bows and the occasional loud fart. It's called Feral Instinct (a name chosen by my daughter, and thoroughly approved by me).

So if you would like to help me prove that I'm capable of more than just abusing other people who have worked harder than I have, please email me (my email is in my profile) and let me know. I don't have a whole lot so far, but maybe we can start one of those silly Yahoo groups and swap files and figure out how to block spammers from posting pictures of naked girls. I honestly don't have this all figured out just yet, but I know one or two of my readers have made games, and I figure maybe we could trick those guys into kicking in a little aid now and then.

And feel free to add comments to this post. After all, if it takes a village to raise a child, it probably takes a global community to help me make a game. I'll update now and then with progress reports, and maybe once we get something cool put together, I'll put out an official Drake's Flames game, and then you can all play it and say, 'now, here's a guy who knows his business.' Or, just to mix it up a little, someone out there can compare my game to a pile of stinking dog crap.


Isamoor said...

Way too amusing, I've got to hear the collaborative discussion you'd bring to the table :)

Pete Miller said...

You know I'm with you for comments on rules and if it's a kid friendly game (sounds a little Kung Fu Panda inspired - not a bad thing) I could playtest it a bit with the kids and such. Go for it Matt!

Hendal said...

You will have to add a soundtrack to it with all the songs your going to make jokes about when you review your own game!
Sounds great, you can count me in for some co-op game creating - good luck!

SuperflyTNT said...

I can help with the animals and 'specials'.

I'm thinking of a few now:

A dog named Sammo Hung whose special ability is to hump the opponent and remove some of their 'life' or 'stamina'. Should look like a Sheltie.

David said...

I think this is a trap. Yes, it will be about animals with martial arts skills, but the main thrust of the game will be to buy various dojo properties. And the decks of cards will allow the animals to perform various martial arts moves such as "get out of jail free" and "win 2nd place in a beauty contest."

I discovered this shocking revelation when I realized that "Feral Instinct" is an anagram for "ralfe tinctins." That is Latin for... Monopoly!

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, double-shame on you!

I'm kidding, of course. Best of luck with the game.

Matt Drake said...

Guys, I've got a Word file with the game as it is so far. If you'll email me, I'll send you the file.

TNT, I might not use the super-humping ability.

David, curse you for deducing my hidden plan.

Chinese spammer, I've deleted your random non-English post full of odd links probably all going to foreign-language offers for cheap pharmaceuticals you probably made from ground-up gopher dick. So you can officially kiss my ass.